So many times I feel like screaming this at the top of my lungs, the looks I get the comments that are made behind my back. It is one of the problems of having a child with SPD and or Aspergers, people, strangers look at your child and how he or she is acting in public and they go right to the assumption that you are a bad parent.
I see the looks on their faces, the looks in their eyes when they see my children acting differently from their children. When I have to bring Douglas something to eat to a party because he has oral sensory issues, when JM gets fixated on something and can not let it go and cries, or whines for thirty minutes because it is not something he can have. When we are at a public event and Kalie does not say a word the entire time we are there.
My children, like all other children, with SPD and Aspergers look normal, they walk, they talk, they listen and yes they do things that normal children do. But they do have issues, they do have things going on inside their bodies and minds that we do not understand. Things we may never understand. Do not judge me as a mom when you see me do something that you think is out of the ordinary, do not judge me when you see my children act in a way that you think is not normal. Do not tell me I am a bad mom, do not tell me my children are the way they are because of something I did.
We know more today than we did 30 years ago, children do not come into this world a blank slate so to speak for parents to mold and turn into functioning adults. They are born with personalities, yes we have an effect on it, yes things we do effect the people they become. But some of these precious children are also given to us with a mind and body that does not work like everyone elses, things happen and while yes they develop into great young people, and later adults because of the work we as parents do, this wonderful children and adults have so much to over come.
Instead of judging me, help me and not by giving me unwanted advice. Try and understand what a day in my life is like, try and understand the struggles we are going through and do not ever tell me there is nothing wrong with my child, that the only thing wrong is my parenting skills. Do not dare tell me that my children are like they are because of me and that if I were a better parent they would not be this way.
It hurts the most when it comes from family members. My children have been diagnosed by not one but three different doctors, and yet I have some who say there is nothing wrong and I am just making excuses.
To them I say thank you for your input but really keep it to your self.
God has blessed me with three wonderful children, three children that I love, adore and would not trade anything for. I wish things were easier for them, I wish things were different and they did not have these struggles. I wish strangers would not stare, I wish strangers would not make rude comments. I wish people would just open their eyes to these children and these parents. Instead of judging us, help us.