I ran into a n old friend this past week, she apologized for losing touch with me and for not being there when we got JM's diagnosis. She acted as if I should have lost it, like really lost it when I was told. She was surprised at my resonse and seems to think that I am not letting it sink in. I assured her that I was well aware of what this meant for him and our family. She just kept apologizing to me, asking me about my support network and what was I going to do.
The best way I can answer this question is that I am going to get up tomorrow, I am going to get dressed, I am going to get the kids dressed and I am going to live my life. I have no choice in the manner. I do not have time to lose it. I have to be my children's advocate, I have to fight for them and the fight is only beginning. I know that I will have days that I do not feel like getting out of bed, I will have times that all I want to do is cry but I also know that in order to ensure that my children have all that they need I need to be strong.
The therapist I go to for the kids, she has been with us since the kids were two years old, calls me mama bear and has me talk to some of her new moms in the practice and has me talk to them about what they need to do to help their child. She say I am strong and encouraging and she uses my children as examples all the time, examples of how far they have come. So if I have to be known as Mommy bear the tough one then I shall be.