Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What I did not know

What I did not Know..

I have learned to deal with the looks and whispers behind my back.
I know that many people think I am a bad mother or my husband is a bad father.
I know that there are a lot of judgments about the way I do things and the way I handle my son.
I know, because like so many, there was a point in time in my life when I made the same assumptions as so many are now making about me.
What I did not know about Aspergers children will amaze you, it still amazes me.

I did not know that today my son would need a twizzler so bad that nothing else would do, that he would ask for it repeatedly and even thought I did not have any in the house it would not matter. He wanted it so that was all that was important. I did not know he would not understand or grasp that there were none here. However, when tomorrow gets here and I have twizzlers that he will no longer want them and will have moved on to Gum as that is what I gave him yesterday to calm him down. Too bad I no longer have gum.

I did not know that his socks would hurt his feet which would result in him having a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store. I did not realize that the tag inside his shirt would itch and irritate his skin, I did not know that his shorts had to be made out of a certain material or it would irritate him. I did not know.

I did not know that his world was black and white, that he saw things in tunnel. I did not know that there was no gray in the world. I did not know that rules would be unbendable and that you had to do the same thing at the same time everyday to avoid meltdowns.

I did not know that while my child would be so different he would also be so amazing and loving. I did not know how much it would hurt me when you leave my child out from playing. I did not know how much it would hurt him when he is left out of games, and activities that all other children are included in.

I did not know that so many adults would be so uneducated on Aspergers and on what it means to have an Aspie child. I did not know how many people would not even try to understand my child and would just make assumptions based on their experience.

I do hope that the next time you see me at the park, pool or a social even that you will not feel sorry for me, I am blessed to have the unconditional love of an Aspergers child. What I hope is that you will understand and instead of talking behind my back, ask what you can do to make my child apart of our neighborhood.


  1. Hi,

    I encourage you to check out (and join!) The SPD Blogger Network. You can find out more, here:

    Please share with any other great SPD blogs you know!

    Author of This is Gabriel Making Sense of School

  2. You're doing a great job with your kids and also a great job teaching the rest of us! :) So glad I stumbled upon your blog!

  3. Anonymous12:16 AM

    I can say from my experiences that your children are the most precious kids I have ever cared for. I was incredibly blessed by them, and I still miss them! I think of you all often. I hope you are all doing well. You are doing a wonderful job and are doing what no else can do, being their mother.

  4. Anonymous11:01 AM

    This is an excellent post that helps people who don't know about Asperger's better understand it.


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