I knew that today was coming for some time, after all I am the one that made the appointment for JM. He went to see a developmental ped today, first time in two years. We were going for a second opinion, looking for answers to things that well just make us scratch our head.
I knew going in what I was going to be told, but hearing it and knowing it is two completely different things. I have not had the chance to talk to many people about this, in fact just my husband and immediate family. So bear with me.
For some time we have had our doubts that John Michael only had sensory issues, he just seems to get so fixated on things, can not let things go, gets so upset and can not calm himself down. Discipline that works for the other two does not work for him, in fact it makes things worse. He cried the other day for two hours because I did not have twizzlers in the house. Yes two hours, nothing would get his mind off of it.
So I was thinking Aspergers, PDD-NOS, another words that he was on the spectrum. So while I knew this I did not know this. Today I was told this by two different doctors and a ABA therapist. SO I guess this means I have no choice but to accept it and to move on from here. To get him even more therapy and to make certain that I am there to fight for him every step of the way.
Our journey has changed today, changed a good deal. Our road down this life is going to be different, yet he is still the same child tonight that he was last night. I just hugged him tight, took him to dinner and got him ice cream.. Something special for my little man.
The next step, we are going to have the other two evaluated as well. I do not think they have aspergers, that they are simply sensory, but the doctor wants to test them and do genetic testing. The Marcus institute is one of the leading researching institutes for Autism and Aspergers, they are currently doing a study comparing siblings, seeing how they are triplets, they are a perfect fit for the study. This means that we will get some therapies for free.. (thank goodness..)
Thank you for your continued prayers and happy thoughts.
These next few days may be hard on me and well the rest of the family. Any advice or ideas will be greatly appreciated.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
How do you do it?
Really, like I have a choice. Let me see I get woken up every morning by KR and JM, normally around 6:45 and then well I just do what I have to do I have not really got a choice in the matter, what do I just not do it?
I get asked this all the time and like any singleton mom I do what I have to do, I get up, I change their clothes make their breakfast and off we go for our adventures of the day. We play outside a great deal of the time and watch very little television. In fact if it were up to them we would be outside within minutes of waking in the morning. I have to make them wait till a decent hour. Which to them is 7:30. I have yet to get out of my pj's by that time. But they are kids and they love the outdoors, what am I going to do say no stay in and watch television.
So out we go.
Seriously over the years I have been asked "How do you do it" so many times, to be honest I just do, I do not know anything else and well I do not have much choice in the matter. Like you and every other mom on the planet, I do what I have to do. I love my kids, I love my life and I do what it takes to get through the day.
Some of the other statements that have been said to me over the years.
Are they triplets - Well yes they are
Are they identical - Well no, two are boys and one is a girl
Did you have them at the same time - Well not really, I had them minutes apart.
Did you do drugs - not then but now yes, okay seriously it is none of your business nice stranger that I saw in the mall how my children were conceived.
Are they natural - No, they are alien children
I am glad it is you and not me, well if you think that way I am glad it is me and not you as well
God Bless you, he already has
Did you do IVF again this is very personal do not ask a stranger this question They do not ask you if you had sex last night
I could go on for days, these are just some of the things that Have been said to me the worst was in Target one day, I was in line checking out the kids were small and we were in the limo runabout stroller. The lady behind me asked about the stroller and if it folded up. I said no, it goes on a hitch on the back of my car. She got a odd look on her face and said
"hmm, I guess there is nothing easy, smart or economical about having multiples, most less triplets"
I was at a loss for words, the cashier heard the entire thing, this is the same cashier that we used on our weekly trip to the store. She said something in response to her for me. The lady had four kids, stair steps and the kids were all screaming pitching fits etc.
the cashier said: You have four kids, your youngest is yet a baby, you still have one other in diapers your oldest is six years old, you have at least two more years in diapers, she will be out of diapers in a year or so. You have been in diapers and had baby crap out in your house for what six years now. what is smart, easy or economical about that, and oh her kids are always happy, smiling and never acting as yours are.
I clapped..
So there are idiots out there that say things that hurt us, say things that my children hear, things they should not hear. Thanks for the ignorance, till now it has not "hurt" my children, but they are now at an age in which it can so please if you see us out, thank about what you say to me, thank about how it can effect my children. Do not ask me things like "What else is wrong with your kids" yes someone asked me this..But that is a different story.
I get asked this all the time and like any singleton mom I do what I have to do, I get up, I change their clothes make their breakfast and off we go for our adventures of the day. We play outside a great deal of the time and watch very little television. In fact if it were up to them we would be outside within minutes of waking in the morning. I have to make them wait till a decent hour. Which to them is 7:30. I have yet to get out of my pj's by that time. But they are kids and they love the outdoors, what am I going to do say no stay in and watch television.
So out we go.
Seriously over the years I have been asked "How do you do it" so many times, to be honest I just do, I do not know anything else and well I do not have much choice in the matter. Like you and every other mom on the planet, I do what I have to do. I love my kids, I love my life and I do what it takes to get through the day.
Some of the other statements that have been said to me over the years.
Are they triplets - Well yes they are
Are they identical - Well no, two are boys and one is a girl
Did you have them at the same time - Well not really, I had them minutes apart.
Did you do drugs - not then but now yes, okay seriously it is none of your business nice stranger that I saw in the mall how my children were conceived.
Are they natural - No, they are alien children
I am glad it is you and not me, well if you think that way I am glad it is me and not you as well
God Bless you, he already has
Did you do IVF again this is very personal do not ask a stranger this question They do not ask you if you had sex last night
I could go on for days, these are just some of the things that Have been said to me the worst was in Target one day, I was in line checking out the kids were small and we were in the limo runabout stroller. The lady behind me asked about the stroller and if it folded up. I said no, it goes on a hitch on the back of my car. She got a odd look on her face and said
"hmm, I guess there is nothing easy, smart or economical about having multiples, most less triplets"
I was at a loss for words, the cashier heard the entire thing, this is the same cashier that we used on our weekly trip to the store. She said something in response to her for me. The lady had four kids, stair steps and the kids were all screaming pitching fits etc.
the cashier said: You have four kids, your youngest is yet a baby, you still have one other in diapers your oldest is six years old, you have at least two more years in diapers, she will be out of diapers in a year or so. You have been in diapers and had baby crap out in your house for what six years now. what is smart, easy or economical about that, and oh her kids are always happy, smiling and never acting as yours are.
I clapped..
So there are idiots out there that say things that hurt us, say things that my children hear, things they should not hear. Thanks for the ignorance, till now it has not "hurt" my children, but they are now at an age in which it can so please if you see us out, thank about what you say to me, thank about how it can effect my children. Do not ask me things like "What else is wrong with your kids" yes someone asked me this..But that is a different story.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
What happens when Mommy gets sick
Last night is not the first time I have come down with something over night, the difference is that well my husband no longer works from home. So yes I had to get up and make breakfast and play with three five year olds while running back and forth to the bathroom to vomit. I have no idea what is wrong with me, I am thinking ulcer but who knows. I go to the doctor tomorrow.
At least the kids could tell that mommy was not her normal self, in fact Douglas told me not to worry that he would make breakfast, I watched as he attempted to get bowls out of the cabinet. It is amazing how well they work together when they want to, Douglas and JM carried the step stool over, JM held it as Doug climbed up to get the bowls, Kalie got four different boxes of cereal out of the cabinet and they each poured there own (yes I had to sweet after) It was really cute as they also poured me a bowl, mommy could not eat it do to her well many trips to vomit.
Thank goodness they were great all morning, my cousin got up at 10:00 and I took them to the pool, I stayed for an hour before going home and to bed. Bre was great she stayed with the kids all day at the pool, brought them home, feed them dinner, cleaned the kitchen and is now playing with them outside. I may not ever let her go home!!!
So when she does go home I will have to do this on my own. Since KP worked at home for so long I have not really had to endure taking care of them while I was very sick, I guess that is to come.
So now about my being sick, I have had indigestion and heartburn for several weeks now, woke up last night running a slight fever and vomiting, no blood thank goodness, but vomit. I have also had some burning in my stomach region, eating certain foods hurts really bad. So tomorrow we will go to the doctor and see what they say. I know ulcers are hard to diagnose, lets hope they can without anything major going on.
Wish me luck and lets hope that tonight is better for me.
At least the kids could tell that mommy was not her normal self, in fact Douglas told me not to worry that he would make breakfast, I watched as he attempted to get bowls out of the cabinet. It is amazing how well they work together when they want to, Douglas and JM carried the step stool over, JM held it as Doug climbed up to get the bowls, Kalie got four different boxes of cereal out of the cabinet and they each poured there own (yes I had to sweet after) It was really cute as they also poured me a bowl, mommy could not eat it do to her well many trips to vomit.
Thank goodness they were great all morning, my cousin got up at 10:00 and I took them to the pool, I stayed for an hour before going home and to bed. Bre was great she stayed with the kids all day at the pool, brought them home, feed them dinner, cleaned the kitchen and is now playing with them outside. I may not ever let her go home!!!
So when she does go home I will have to do this on my own. Since KP worked at home for so long I have not really had to endure taking care of them while I was very sick, I guess that is to come.
So now about my being sick, I have had indigestion and heartburn for several weeks now, woke up last night running a slight fever and vomiting, no blood thank goodness, but vomit. I have also had some burning in my stomach region, eating certain foods hurts really bad. So tomorrow we will go to the doctor and see what they say. I know ulcers are hard to diagnose, lets hope they can without anything major going on.
Wish me luck and lets hope that tonight is better for me.
Monday, July 13, 2009
School will be here before we know it.
I spent some time this morning with the kids school's principle, assistant principal and five of the six kindergarten teachers. I was able to express my concern about them being separated and Kalie's dependence on the boys. How she will not talk and withdraw into her self if she is not around them. I believe that we came up with a rather good plan about how to handle it. As I have always said that I would have them in different classes when they were in school, but considering how KR reacts when she is away from the boys we do not feel it would benefit her. As a result we are going to start the school year with all three in the same class. With the plan being to gradually consider putting them into different classes. If we see that they are doing well in the same class then we are going to leave them together for the entire year. If there are issues, fighting etc, then we will move forward with having them in their own room by mid year.
There is no perfect answer to this situation and in the end as parents we can only do what we feel is best for our children. I am just very happy that we have the Twin Law in the state so that this decision is in my hands and not that of the administration of the school. I do not have to fight with anyone on this, other than myself that is, which I have done plenty of.
school supply shopping times three was very much fun, 72 pencils, six boxes of 24 pack crayons, 48 glue sticks and 12 primary tablets later. I think I am done.
Now to move onto clothes shopping, I think I am going to toss out all the socks and start all over. seriously who of you like to match up socks. It is just at that point that it is not worth it to carry on with trying to match all of them up any longer. So out they go. (trust me this will save me lots of head ache)
The kids are excited about going to school and getting to learn new things, met new friends and ride the bus (yea)
More on all of that later.
There is no perfect answer to this situation and in the end as parents we can only do what we feel is best for our children. I am just very happy that we have the Twin Law in the state so that this decision is in my hands and not that of the administration of the school. I do not have to fight with anyone on this, other than myself that is, which I have done plenty of.
school supply shopping times three was very much fun, 72 pencils, six boxes of 24 pack crayons, 48 glue sticks and 12 primary tablets later. I think I am done.
Now to move onto clothes shopping, I think I am going to toss out all the socks and start all over. seriously who of you like to match up socks. It is just at that point that it is not worth it to carry on with trying to match all of them up any longer. So out they go. (trust me this will save me lots of head ache)
The kids are excited about going to school and getting to learn new things, met new friends and ride the bus (yea)
More on all of that later.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Nothing new but ramblings
So much going on but nothing really new going on. We are just enjoying our summer, going to the pool, riding bikes and going to parks.
School will start before we know it, in fact I have my meeting this week with the counselor. And as most of you know I keep waffling on what to do about school, do I leave all of them in the same room or have them in different rooms. After safety camp I think I am going back to the idea of keeping them in the same room, they had KR at a different table in the same room as the boys and she did not talk at all. I do not think she is ready to be away from them so I guess we will have all three in the same room.
I am going to met with the school this week to go over this, to talk to some of the teachers and to set up testing for them at the school.
The week after JM is going to be evaluated by a developmental ped. and then we head back to Mississippi for a family wedding. We have a busy few weeks ahead of us. School will start on August 10th.. wow that is just around the corner. I need to do some school shopping, clothes and all. Where to start..
For the first day my plan is for them to wear matching shirts that say kindergarten rocks, KR will wear a skirt and the boys will be in shorts.
Other than that I am clueless.
School will start before we know it, in fact I have my meeting this week with the counselor. And as most of you know I keep waffling on what to do about school, do I leave all of them in the same room or have them in different rooms. After safety camp I think I am going back to the idea of keeping them in the same room, they had KR at a different table in the same room as the boys and she did not talk at all. I do not think she is ready to be away from them so I guess we will have all three in the same room.
I am going to met with the school this week to go over this, to talk to some of the teachers and to set up testing for them at the school.
The week after JM is going to be evaluated by a developmental ped. and then we head back to Mississippi for a family wedding. We have a busy few weeks ahead of us. School will start on August 10th.. wow that is just around the corner. I need to do some school shopping, clothes and all. Where to start..
For the first day my plan is for them to wear matching shirts that say kindergarten rocks, KR will wear a skirt and the boys will be in shorts.
Other than that I am clueless.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
The joy of boys
My boys are the sweetest thing, well at least they can be. Today we were driving to the dentist for our six month check up and yes to check on JM's teeth as yesterday he had an accident on his bike and "Jarred" his front teeth. The dentist thinks they are going to be fine, he has two chipped teeth but nothing appears to be loose and so far no abcess.
anyway back to my joy..
On the drive to the dentist office out of no where, Douglas says to me "Mommy, when I get big I am going to work on the computer so you and daddy do not have to, and I am going to give you a house. "
John Michael followed with
"Mommy, I am going to work also and give you a trip so you can go to the beach and lay down"
My boys love me so much....
(Kalie Rose was at home with my cousin, she went last week, good news no Cavities)
anyway back to my joy..
On the drive to the dentist office out of no where, Douglas says to me "Mommy, when I get big I am going to work on the computer so you and daddy do not have to, and I am going to give you a house. "
John Michael followed with
"Mommy, I am going to work also and give you a trip so you can go to the beach and lay down"
My boys love me so much....
(Kalie Rose was at home with my cousin, she went last week, good news no Cavities)
JM and Body awareness
It has been awhile since I have talked about JM and sensory issues. He is my most noticeable, or the one who's sensory affects him the most.
Just yesterday he cried for 1.5 hours, nothing I did would calm him down, he did this because I would not give him my IPOD, which is new, I had just taken it out of the package new. I was only able to get him to calm down and "forget" about it by downloading a son and letting him listen to it, I allowed him to sit beside me and put one ear pud in his ear and listen to one song, after which he was fine. He gets fixated on things and does not forget. I tried everything yesterday morning, favorite tv show, relaxation music playing, getting his guitar out and asking him to play for me, nothing worked. Holding him tight, brushing etc. again nothing worked. So he cried for over an hour.
The other thing going on with him, is body awareness, he seems to not know he is there, if you know what I mean. He has been so clumbsy this summer. This week, well in one day, he fell and scrapped his knee, I asked him what happened and he said he did not know. He got a splinter in his hand and pulled it out, tearing skin along the way, again he said he had to get it out and it did not hurt anymore. He again fell on the deck, said he tripped over his foot scrapped up his elbow. All of this occured within about a three hours time.
Then yesterday he crashed (as he says) his bike and now has a loose tooth. Thank goodness he already had a dentist appointment for today, so we will get it checked.
We do nknow that it is a body awareness problem, if he sits by you he sits on top of you, when walking he will run into you, he has no awareness of personal space. We try to help him with this through art therapy and having him draw pictures of people, he never draws their body, just a head and legs, So we sing a song about our body while we draw the person. It is kind of corny but it works. The only thing is that if I am not drawing and singing the song as he draws he will draw the person with just a head and legs.
So we are working on it and we have imporvements some days and other days he will take two steps back. It is a daily challenge and I never know what the next minute is going to bring. But with time, therapy and yes some patiences on my part we will get there.
Just yesterday he cried for 1.5 hours, nothing I did would calm him down, he did this because I would not give him my IPOD, which is new, I had just taken it out of the package new. I was only able to get him to calm down and "forget" about it by downloading a son and letting him listen to it, I allowed him to sit beside me and put one ear pud in his ear and listen to one song, after which he was fine. He gets fixated on things and does not forget. I tried everything yesterday morning, favorite tv show, relaxation music playing, getting his guitar out and asking him to play for me, nothing worked. Holding him tight, brushing etc. again nothing worked. So he cried for over an hour.
The other thing going on with him, is body awareness, he seems to not know he is there, if you know what I mean. He has been so clumbsy this summer. This week, well in one day, he fell and scrapped his knee, I asked him what happened and he said he did not know. He got a splinter in his hand and pulled it out, tearing skin along the way, again he said he had to get it out and it did not hurt anymore. He again fell on the deck, said he tripped over his foot scrapped up his elbow. All of this occured within about a three hours time.
Then yesterday he crashed (as he says) his bike and now has a loose tooth. Thank goodness he already had a dentist appointment for today, so we will get it checked.
We do nknow that it is a body awareness problem, if he sits by you he sits on top of you, when walking he will run into you, he has no awareness of personal space. We try to help him with this through art therapy and having him draw pictures of people, he never draws their body, just a head and legs, So we sing a song about our body while we draw the person. It is kind of corny but it works. The only thing is that if I am not drawing and singing the song as he draws he will draw the person with just a head and legs.
So we are working on it and we have imporvements some days and other days he will take two steps back. It is a daily challenge and I never know what the next minute is going to bring. But with time, therapy and yes some patiences on my part we will get there.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
The things we say
As parents we often find our self saying things that we never imagined would come out of our mouths. Well at least as parents of triplets you do.
Something happened today that got me to thinking about all of this and to be honest made me laugh so hard (after the fact) that I thought I was going to cry.
Some of the things I have said:
Leave your brothers penis alone, play with your own.
No, you can not play with your brothers penis.
Do not put that in your behind (yes I said this)
You can not just grow a penis, you are either born with one or you are not.
Stop pulling on your brothers penis
So the story for today that got me on this:
I had just given them baths and was getting them ready for bed, they do not bathe together any longer, I decided when I had to tell my daughter to stop pulling on her brothers penis that it was time to stop that.
I got the boys out and they went into their rooms, Kalie got herself out and walked into D room, he had yet to get dressed, he was sitting on the floor in modified Indian style, in doing so he was using his stomach muscles to make his penis move up and down. He says to Kalie, Look Kalie my penis does tricks. He is saying this as I walk into the room and notice that she is in there while he is naked. I send her to her room while I dress him and tell him that it is not proper to let our sister see us naked.
Fun times..
Something happened today that got me to thinking about all of this and to be honest made me laugh so hard (after the fact) that I thought I was going to cry.
Some of the things I have said:
Leave your brothers penis alone, play with your own.
No, you can not play with your brothers penis.
Do not put that in your behind (yes I said this)
You can not just grow a penis, you are either born with one or you are not.
Stop pulling on your brothers penis
So the story for today that got me on this:
I had just given them baths and was getting them ready for bed, they do not bathe together any longer, I decided when I had to tell my daughter to stop pulling on her brothers penis that it was time to stop that.
I got the boys out and they went into their rooms, Kalie got herself out and walked into D room, he had yet to get dressed, he was sitting on the floor in modified Indian style, in doing so he was using his stomach muscles to make his penis move up and down. He says to Kalie, Look Kalie my penis does tricks. He is saying this as I walk into the room and notice that she is in there while he is naked. I send her to her room while I dress him and tell him that it is not proper to let our sister see us naked.
Fun times..
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